


Is it Really A Punishment?

by Starlight_fallen



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: He/Him Pronouns For Gabriel (Good Omens), Ineffable Bureaucracy, Other, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), You can call it a human AU I guess, first snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlight_fallen/pseuds/Starlight_fallen
Summary: Gabriel is sent to Earth to learn what God’s Ineffable Plan really was, which was essentially to LOVE humanity.Beelzebub was sent to Earth as punishment, banished from Hell for failing to know that Crowley had fucked up the whole antichrist thing.Pushed together, they question if this is a punishment after all.
Relationships: Beelzebub & Gabriel (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30
Collections: Grow Better / Scribbling Vaguely Downwards - Holiday Swap '20





	Is it Really A Punishment?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZimVader0017](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZimVader0017/gifts).



Growling in a very unangelic way, Gabriel marched with all the grace of righteous anger out of the main office building for Earth.

“That traitor completely derails the Great Plan and I’m the one tossed out?!”

Straightening his tailored jacket against the cold he felt, he marched off towards the bookshop, at least he thought it was where the bookshop was. God, in her ineffable wisdom, had blocked his powers, condemning him to live as a human so he’d ‘learn a lesson’. If he didn’t fear Her wrath, he might have rolled his eyes at the ridiculous punishment.

He soon found himself lost in the throngs of people who looked to be preparing for some celebration.

He was staring at a bright nativity scene, not paying attention to where he was going, trying to figure out where that image looked somewhat familiar when the air was knocked out of him, the smaller body that hit him tumbling to the ground.

“Watch where you’re going, jackazzzz.” A familiar voice buzzed in front and below Gabriel.

Gabriel looked down at the being in front of him, a sneer forming on his face, as Beelzebub, Prince of Hell, stood up with as much dignity as they could muster.

“Watch where you’re going, demon.” He responded. Beelzebub just stared at him, an eyebrow raising in silent question.

“Where are you going, wank wingsss?” Beelzebub asked, internally wincing as the buzzing lisp appeared again, stressed buzzing leaking into their words.

Gabriel ignored them, choosing instead to try walking around the smaller being. Beelzebub smirked at his back, deciding to follow him. He’d be the best bet to finding the traitor to make him help them fix this punishment. Gabriel barely noticed Beelzebub as they started walking besides him, caught up in his own thoughts for the moment.

He still didn’t think it fair that God punished him when She should have punished Aziraphale. 

Beelzebub was nervous, hiding it well after millennia of being Prince of Hell, but the uncertainty of this situation was starting to get to them. How were they expected to survive on Earth with humans for Satan only knows how long? Crowley had been doing it for 6000 years, they had to find his traitorous ass.

Gabriel huffed, noticing the demon beside him, refusing to confirm the demon’s earlier statement, instead asking them a question of his own. “Are you looking for your traitorous demon?”

Beelzebub nodded, not verbally answering as they spotted a storefront that seemed to trigger a familiar feeling. 

“Issss that the place you’re looking for?” Beelzebub pointed, just as two familiar figures walked up to the front door.

“Aziraphale!” Gabriel called instead of answering the smaller demon. Both newcomers noticed the still angel and demon beings tense up, before Crowley whipped around, fangs bared.

“You’ve already failed to kill us, what the fuck do you think you’re doing showing your faces now? We don’t work for either of you anymore.” Crowley hissed, pushing Aziraphale behind him.

“I don’t have business with you, demon. Now move aside so I can speak to my subordinate.” Gabriel sneered. Crowley hissed, looking like he’d lunge and rip Gabriel’s throat out if given half a chance.

“What he meanssss isss….we need help.” Beelzebub said, pushing past the taller being. They weren’t letting Gabriel strand them to this punishment alone, they were certain they could play on the traitor angel’s feelings to convince the pair to help them at least. Whatever Gabriel did was his issue, but they knew they needed the pair on their side to help them.

Aziraphale put his hand on Crowley’s back and leaned closer to him to whisper, “My dear, hold. Something is odd with them. Neither one of us sensed them, I still can’t really sense them even though they’re clearly here, something is going on. It might be worthwhile to listen to them. It would benefit us to find out why that is.”

Beelzebub smirked, hearing the angel tell Crowley that something was wrong. Points to the angel.

Crowley groaned, knowing Aziraphale was right, but he didn’t have to like it. He didn’t take his eyes off the other two as Aziraphale unlocked the shop, moving aside slightly so that Beelzebub and Gabriel could squeeze by him as he glared at them. Beelzebub didn’t make eye contact, hoping if they continued playing pathetic, Aziraphale and Crowley would be more inclined to give them the help they needed in this Satan forsaken punishment. Gabriel continued to antagonize by sneering at Crowley as he walked past him.

Aziraphale was bustling around in the kitchenette, asking who wanted a cup of tea, tutting when Crowley said he wanted whiskey in his.

“My dear, we should keep a very clear head while we hear out these two.”

Crowley’s answering groan made Beelzebub smirk, even if they silently agreed with the traitor.

He gestured for everyone to sit at a table that wasn’t there until just now. Crowley sprawled in the chair closest to where Aziraphale stood, glaring at the two intruders again.

“I do not sully the temple of my celestial body with gross matter, Aziraphale. I have told you that before.” Gabriel said, condescension dripping from his tone as he sat down next to Beelzebub.

Crowley started to sneer back at the intruding angel when a sound from Gabriel stopped them all. Gabriel’s stomach grumbled, which in the mostly silent kitchenette, sounded far louder.

The laughter that left Crowley was truly demonic to Gabriel’s ears. Gabriel didn’t know why his face felt hot suddenly but he understood embarrassment enough to know that’s what he felt right then.

Crowley started to say something, only for Aziraphale to cut him off, silently urging him not to antagonize the pair. Crowley rolled his eyes but kept quiet. Aziraphale passed out cups of tea, ignoring the sniff Gabriel gave. He hid the smirk on his face as Gabriel picked up the cup and took a small sip.

“Now, what can we help you two with?” Aziraphale asked, blowing softly on his tea, watching Beelzebub over the rim as they stared at the cup.

“Sssatan decided that I have to live on Earth.” Beelzebub explained, holding back the fact that they’ve lost access to their powers.

Gabriel slammed down his cup, “God is punishing ME because of your traitorous actions and I’ve been kicked out of Heaven!” He stood up and glared down at both Aziraphale and Crowley.

Aziraphale reared back in shock, never expecting that reaction from Gabriel, who was always composed. Nor was he expecting what the Archangel said.

Silence blanketed the bookshop as Aziraphale and Crowley digested what they were just told. Neither knew how to respond and they stared in open mouth shock as Gabriel slumped back in his chair.

“God said I needed to be taught how to love and the only way to do that was to be no different than humans until I learned it.” Gabriel sounded defeated now, another sound Aziraphale never expected to hear from Gabriel.

Beelzebub sat quietly sipping their tea, waiting for Aziraphale and Crowley to say something. While Satan hadn’t punished them to teach them something as disgusting as love, it was better knowing they weren’t alone in this punishment.

Aziraphale snapped out of his shock first, reaching out to touch Gabriel’s shoulder.

“We’ll help you.”

________________________________

Aziraphale wasted no time in helping the two banished beings in finding a place to stay. Crowley was more than happy to help with this part, as it meant getting both Beelzebub and Gabriel out of their home and hair.

It was a fight when Aziraphale suggested instead of finding two places to stay, they get one place and share, especially after they found out that Aziraphale and Crowley couldn’t miracle anything for the pair. Both had tried but they found when they tried to miracle a place for either one of them, something was blocking both of their abilities. Crowley wouldn’t put it past Her to have done this to make him and Aziraphale help the two new banishments.

So clearly everything regarding them would have to be done the human way, which meant having to use money and rental agreements. They couldn’t even miracle up identities for them, Crowley had to hack into several systems and create Beelzebub and Gabriel whole lives. Aziraphale was grateful that he’d had made several financial investments that left him more than able to get the pair from his bookshop that much faster. But both would learn soon that a job would be necessary. Crowley, the wiley serpent he was, delighted in the thought that both of their former bosses would have to work a human job to survive their punishments.

After 3 days, Aziraphale and Crowley managed to get them completely set up with aliases, find a flat for the two, and furnish it. Aziraphale was showing them where everything was, how it worked, and dealing with his ex boss’s dramatics. Crowley was lucky enough to escape this because he was trying to find the two jobs.

Gabriel was convinced that Beelzebub would just kill him in his sleep to get back in Satan’s favor and it was working both Aziraphale and Beelzebub’s last nerves.

“It would be just the underhanded thing that a demon would do to get out of this ridiculous punishment!” Gabriel ranted as Aziraphale showed them both the kitchen.

“Keep it up and I just might.” Beelzebub growled, disliking that they were stuck living with the angel. Didn’t Crowley have his own flat? Why couldn’t he just let them live there during this punishment?

“See?!” Gabriel almost yelled, “They’re going to kill me in my sleep and with me being stuck in a useless human corporation, I can’t even properly defend myself!”

“Gabriel dear, you’re also almost 60cm taller than them. With a much bigger build. It’s very unlikely they’d succeed in such an attempt.” Aziraphale said, leading both through to where their rooms were.

Beelzebub bristled, “I am right here, you know?”

Aziraphale started to apologize when the door to the flat flew open, Crowley stalking in. The other three dropped the current fight to go see what had the other demon in a mood.

“No luck. No miracles worked.” He growled, throwing himself on the couch. Aziraphale tutted, figuring this was what was going to happen.

“Well, I guess we could let them work in the bookshop.” Aziraphale suggested. Crowley just threw his head back groaning even louder.

“Why exactly do we need jobssss?” Beelzebub asked, glaring at Crowley to move. He somehow managed to spread himself even more over the couch, smirking at the dark look Beelzebub sent him. They shoved him off the couch completely and took his spot.

“Look there Aziraphale! They were able to shove your demon off his seat, they could easily murder me in my sleep!” Gabriel yelled, reigniting the argument again.

Aziraphale resisted the urge to roll his eyes, knowing Crowley let Beelzebub push them off on purpose. Crowley just stood up, snickering as he sprawled on one of the chairs.

“Moving on. Your punishments are to live like humans, and with your powers restricted, you have to live like humans, which include rent, jobs, and other human activities.” Aziraphale explained, ignoring Gabriel who was huffing in the background.

Beelzebub just rolled their eyes at everything.

______________________________

“Aziraphale, I fail to see why working in your shop is necessary. If we are working for you, why can’t we just stay with you until God thinks I’ve learned my lesson?” Gabriel asked, ignoring the frustrated sigh that left Aziraphale.

“Gabriel, dear, you don’t learn anything if you’re hiding away and not interacting with the humans you’re supposed to learn to love. You don’t hear Beelzebub complaining anymore. They seem to be enjoying working up at the front.” Aziraphale explained, leading Gabriel to the back office.

While Beelzebub was enjoying scaring customers away that didn’t deserve to buy any of Aziraphale’s precious books, Gabriel was amazing with organization and paperwork, so Aziraphale got him started in the inventory that he was still completing after the averted apocalypse.

Just as expected, Gabriel took to it like a duck to water.

_____________________

They’d learned over their punishment time how money worked, though one of their biggest arguments were over the fact Gabriel wanted to hoard it whereas Beelzebub would want to spend it almost constantly. They both came to an agreement after Aziraphale mediated where they had a budget and showed them how to spend properly.

Without realizing it, both had fallen into a routine together, completely forgetting it was a punishment sometimes after several weeks. After several hiccups, both had learned to live together rather well. They were now right on the edge of Christmas, which irritated Gabriel to no end.

Needless to say, Beelzebub’s favorite part of the morning was arguing with Gabriel over coffee flavours, though they’d never admit it out loud. They’d never admit to the angel they lov enjoyed flustering him and making his purple eyes sparkle with (friendly) vengeance.

“Hazelnut is clearly the superior flavour.” Gabriel said, sipping his hazelnut latte.

“You have the taste of a disposable. Peppermint is obviously better.” Beelzebub argued back, smirking as Gabriel sputtered at the insult.

“You don’t have a palate anyway, you’re like Aziraphale and will try anything.” Gabriel shot back.

Beelzebub just snorted, “You think it’s an insult but better to be compared to Aziraphale than Crowley. At least that angel has tastes when it comes to food, can’t say much for his tastes in partners.”

Gabriel didn’t respond to that, just drank more of his coffee silently. He wouldn’t admit that he greatly enjoyed the time spent with Beelzebub because a proper angel didn’t consort with demons by choice. But Beelzebub wasn’t a ‘demon’ right now, so it wasn’t the same…right? He absolutely would not, under penalty of death (saying he’d heard one of Aziraphale’s customers say) admit he loved the smile he got when he argued with them. They continued on in silence.

They got to the bookshop only to discover it was locked up and closed.

“Where could they be?” Gabriel asked, tugging on the door again.

“Vacation, apparently.” Beelzebub said, pointing out the sign from Aziraphale.

“Well what are we supposed to do if they’re on vacation?” Gabriel asked, staring at the shop like it’d suddenly have his answers.

Beelzebub shrugged and turned to walk away. Gabriel stared after them before turning and quickly walking after them.

“I’m going for a walk before I try to burn thissss place to the groundsssss.” The buzzing reappearing and showing the demon’s stress. Gabriel looked worried.

Beelzebub started walking towards the park near Aziraphale’s shop while Gabriel trailed behind them. Gabriel caught up rather quickly to the smaller being’s stride and began walking beside them, not saying anything in the face of their anger.

They made two and a half laps through the park before Beelzebub stopped buzzing under their breath and Gabriel felt comfortable enough to speak.

“You know, we should enjoy this time that they’re gone. We don’t have to interact with humans, we can do whatever we want.” Gabriel explained, conspicuously watching Beelzebub out of the corner of his eye.

It took a moment for Beelzebub to respond but they smirked at Gabriel, “Is the Archangel Gabriel trying to tempt a demon?”

Gabriel sputtered and Beelzebub laughed. He wouldn’t say it out loud but he was beyond relieved to not hear the buzzing in Beelzebub’s voice anymore.

They continued walking in a much lighter silence before coming to the frozen pond in the park. They stopped to watch the humans skate before Beelzebub started to shiver from the dropping temperature. They’d only worn a light jumper because they thought they’d be spending the day in the bookshop.

Gabriel noticed the shivering, despite Beelzebub trying to push it down. He took off his thicker jacket and draped it across Beelzebub’s shoulders. They immediately pulled the front of the jacket closed. His jacket swallowed the smaller being but they were instantly feeling Gabriel’s warmth seeping into them and the shivering ceased.

Beelzebub’s head shot up as they felt wetness on their head. Gabriel was already looking up with a confused look on his face. White flurries were falling from the sky as the two non human beings watched in silent astonishment.

“Is...is this snow?” Beelzebub asked, reaching their hand out to catch a falling snowflake. Crowley had been complaining the week before about it, which made sense now.

Gabriel laughed, the pure joy radiating from him as Beelzebub watched snow get caught in his hair. They ducked their head as they felt a blush appear on their cheeks but Gabriel saw it and his heart stuttered.

“That’s why those two ran off, the snake didn’t want to deal with the snow.” Gabriel said, a small smile appearing on his face as the laughter died off. 

Humming in response, Beelzebub turned to face Gabriel, a barely there smile on their face. “Let’s go home.”

Turning together to walk home, Gabriel smiled softly at the demon beside him. He moved to brush some snow from Beelzebub’s hair, smile growing softer as a blush dusted their face.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

________________________________

God smiled happily as she watched her beloved son find his happiness. It was exactly the love she’d expected him to find among humanity, but She wasn’t going to question the ineffable-ness of yet another angel/demon pair.

**Author's Note:**

> Gift for ZimVader0017! It’s my first time ever writing Ineffable Bureaucracy and these two fought me so drastically lol. I hope you like it though!!! Happiest holidays!!


End file.
